When someone we care about goes through burnout, our instinct is to help, fix, or reassure them.
But burnout isn’t just a rough week or a bit of stress. It’s deep emotional and physical exhaustion that takes time, space, and the right kind of support to heal.
Because we’re close to the person, our love and good intentions can sometimes blur our judgment. Without meaning to, we might say or do things that don’t actually help.
Here are 7 common mistakes to avoid — and what to do instead to offer real, meaningful support.
1. Waiting for it to “just pass”
It’s tempting to hope that things will get better on their own.
❌ Mistake: Treating burnout like “just stress” or assuming it’ll fade with time. Ignoring warning signs can make things worse.
✅ Instead: Take the signs seriously. Encourage early action and professional help. The earlier the support, the better the chances of recovery.
2. Expecting them to get better on their own
Burnout drains exactly the energy needed to reach out for help.
❌ Mistake: Expecting the person to “bounce back” by themselves.
✅ Instead: Offer steady support and gently encourage them to get help — whether that’s seeing a doctor, therapist, or leaning on trusted people.
3. Giving unsolicited advice
We want to help, so we share advice… but it can backfire.
❌ Mistake: Saying things like “You should just…” or “If I were you…” can feel dismissive, even if we mean well.
✅ Instead: Listen first. Ask open questions. Share advice only when they’re open to hearing it.
4. Keeping unrealistic expectations
Maybe this person was high-performing, always on the move, full of energy. But things have changed.
❌ Mistake: Expecting the same productivity or energy as before adds pressure and fuels anxiety.
✅ Instead: Adjust your expectations with compassion. Healing from burnout takes time — and pushing too hard can slow it down.
5. Thinking your support doesn’t matter
When we don’t know what to say or do, it’s easy to pull back.
❌ Mistake: Believing your presence won’t make a difference.
✅ Instead: Small gestures matter — a message, a quiet coffee together, just being there. And if you’re unsure, simply ask: “How can I best support you right now?”
6. Comparing their struggle
❌ Mistake: Saying “I’ve been stressed too and I managed” invalidates their unique experience.
✅ Instead: Acknowledge their feelings without comparing them to yours or anyone else’s. Show empathy, not judgment.
7. Forgetting to take care of yourself
Supporting someone in burnout can be emotionally draining.
❌ Mistake: Neglecting your own well-being and burning out yourself in the process.
✅ Instead: Look after your own mental and emotional health too. Set healthy boundaries, rest, and get support when you need it. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
In Closing
Supporting someone through burnout isn’t about fixing them. It’s about walking beside them with patience, empathy, and care.
Your role doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be present and kind.
And that, more than anything else, truly matters.